PSST! HEY BUD– I HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE… DIAL FULL AREA CODE IN FRONT OF LOCAL NUMBER YOU WANT BEGINNING SUNDAY TO REACH ALL LOCAL NUMBERS IN 914, 516, 845 AREA CODES. WHO KNEW? WHO TOLD US? NOBODY. NOBODY. NOBODY. NOBODY.

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Johnny Copy on his “Scoop Phone”

WPCNR WESTCHESTER OFFICE OF NO COMMUNICATION COMMISSION. By Johnny Copy. October 22, 2021:

You’ll never know why you can’t reach your kid at college Sunday, your mother in assisted living in Rockland, your daughter in Suffolk, your local county offices, city hall, garage Sunday, buddy so I am calling you on my Bogart Phone here to warn you.

Westchester County may experience a total breakdown in communications Sunday, because the FCC has required that beginning Sunday, October 24, you must dial the full 10-digit number of anyone you are calling within area codes 914, 516 and 845, to facilitate the 988 to the National Suicide Prevention and Mental Health Crisis Lifeline.

Nothing wrong with that. But tell people frequently. If you notify citizens of garbage pickup, you need to notify them of this type of major change. How tedious, dialing 914-769-0511 to dial my Aunt in Pleasantville.

Just a little warning would be necessary, just a little.

You can’t make this stupidity up. This is not the way to do it. But government seems to do this all the time. Have to provide a service, the method is to provide the service and create havoc to do it. I guarantee this may create a massive communication disruption.

But maybe I am just the only person who did not know this. It’s entirely possible.

How can I explain the stupidity of this? Do you have to put a “1” in front of the 10-digit number you are calling? Does it affect 911 at all? Does the White Plains Police number have to be dialed 914-422-6111 or else or else, the FCC says “Local phone calls without the ten digits will not go through.”

I repeat, “Local phone calls without the ten digits will not go through.”

Dumb people like me might just think their phones are out of order?

And you thought voice mail was bad. At least the call went through.

Say you want to reach your pals or the country club, Greca, you gotta dial 914- then the 7-digit number, calling city hall you have do dial 914-422-1411 even if you’re across the street! Criminy, Batman! Or maybe you don’t. Who knows.

Government strikes again! Shattering the consumer’s confidence in their competence!

It is time to disband the FCC–the commission that caved into congestion priortiy internet routing for the communications behemoths.

Who knew?

I found out from Brenda Starr, who found this little notice buried on page 5. The nosy red head noticed the buried article in the Westchester Public Private Partnership for Aging Services newsletter, and showed it to me.

More than slightly aging up people have to know this.

Surely this deserved a full blown news conference as big as a return to Standard Time next weekend.

It was buried! A public service spot on how to dial telephone calls in the metropolitan area capital of the world’s communications juggernaut might spring for that.

Wait for the chaos Sunday when you try to reach your brother in Chelsea or sister in Roxbury? Or organize a wedding, a taxi, UBer.

Surely, there must be some exceptions to this new practice? Are there? I don’t know buddy, but I thought I’d warn you

Who knew? I have received no notification of this requirement from Optimum, telephone-internet-cable provider. I have gotten no emails from providers of telephone services to this effect, and no reports on the “all news stations,” or as I refer to news outlets of the electronic and paper variety “No News Most of the Time, traffic and the weathe in themiddle of chaos radio” except accidents,, violent incidents and naive cruel decisions by vile ivory tower courts who should know better.

Where were the news crawls on television about this? Since I refuse to read what passes for newspapers these days, I expect they carried it. If they did not, as Captain Video, Master of Science once said, “You’ve got to warn the earth, gang!”

And, switch back to the “Scoop Phone” like mine (where Jenny the telephone operator whom the Martin family always called when Timmy and Lassie were in trouble), asks me ‘Number, please” and I’ll just say 914-995-2000 or 845- or 516 whatever.

Information please! In a timely manner.

Remember as Pete Hamill wrote “News is a verb.” not a buried blurb.

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