The Depression, Pressure and Isolation of the “Holidays” — How to Cope

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WPCNR DOCTOR WHITE PLAINS. From New York Presbyterian Hospital. December 12, 2005: “The onset of the Holidays represents a series of challenges and expectations, “ explained Jo Anne Sirey, M.D., Clinical Psychologist at New York Presbyterian Hospital (NYPH), Westchester Division.  “Many families struggle over how and where to celebrate, while others succumb to the time and monetary demands of gift giving.  I think almost everyone feels the pressure of the old tradition of finding that ‘perfect’ gift that is supposed to sum up an entire year’s worth of love and caring in just one day.”

 While the Holidays are supposed to be the most festive time of year, for many, it can be the most stressful.  The Holidays affect everyone in different ways, with the burden of sending cards, preparing for out-of-town guests, shopping, cleaning, cooking and feeling compelled to attend various Holiday functions.


As a result, Dr. Sirey said, the Holidays can sometimes be a disappointing or depressing time.  “Some families don’t create festive experiences, and yet some people continue to subject themselves to the same situations year after year, resulting in continued stress, anxiety and depression,” she said.  “In those instances, maybe it’s better to give yourself more space and not spend so much time with family.”


 


Having dealt with many patients experiencing the “pre-Holiday blues,” over the years, Dr. Sirey has developed her own “Top Ten Tips” for reducing stress during the Holiday season.


 



  1. Redefine the Holiday season.

 


Take a step back, and take control of things.  Ask yourself what the Holiday means to you, and decide how you want to celebrate. 


 



  1. Start new traditions.

 


The Holidays are supposed to be about caring and generosity.  Perhaps you can add a new tradition of getting involved with a local charity, homeless shelter, hospital or other organization and make it part of your own Holiday celebration.


 



  1. Don’t become a “Holiday perfectionist.”

Because the Holidays are a special time, we can often become angry and disillusioned, when our expectations don’t become reality.  Be realistic and try to develop a sense of humor when things don’t turn exactly as you expect.



  1. Develop a Holiday budget.

 


Whether you’re throwing a Holiday party or buying gifts, make a budget and stick to it as closely as possible.  Set spending limits with friends, family members and co-workers.  If money is an issue, discuss making gifts or some other way of showing appreciation. Remember, it’s always the thought that counts.


 



  1. Make lists, and check them twice.

 


Make lists for what needs to be accomplished, what gifts you need to purchase, and which events you will attend.  Don’t be afraid of asking family members for help.


6.      Keep your normal routine as much as possible.


Attending Holiday parties disrupts our normal eating patterns, while traveling disrupts our sleep.  Hosting Holiday parties can be the most stressful of all.  Make an effort to keep your regular exercise, sleeping, or eating patterns as much as possible, to avoid disrupting your body’s natural rhythms.


7.      Plan your time well.


Plan your time so that you take care of several errands on one trip. You will have more time to spend doing the things that you really want to do.


 


 


8.      Take are of yourself          


The Holiday season is often very draining due to all of those extra activities. It is important for you to take good care of yourself during the holiday season. Eat well, exercise, get plenty of sleep, and take “time out” to enjoy things that you love – a special hobby, reading a good book, going for a walk, etc.


9.      Communicate with your family and friends.  


Misunderstandings or disagreements can also add to Holiday stress.  Address your concerns directly with your family or friends in a gentle, but honest, manner. Encourage them to be open with you as well. Work together to find a solution that is satisfactory to everyone.


10. Learn to say “no” to extra obligations that might stress you out.


The holidays are full of obligations, and you may start feeling overbooked and overwhelmed.  By learning to mindfully reflect on how you plan to spend your time, you can better prioritize your obligations and make conscious choices about your time commitments. 


 


“These simple tips are designed to help individuals and families to keep stress levels to a minimum and have a more positive Holiday experience, added Dr. Sirey.  “It’s all about empowering people and giving them a new perspective.”

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Paulin, Experts Call for Reviews of All Unexplained Child Deaths.

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WPCNR WHITE PLAINS LAW JOURNAL. From Asseblywoman Amy Paulin, 88th Assembly District. (EDITED) December 12, 2005: Testifiers at a hearing in White Plains last week called for all unexplained child fatalities – not just children who are already in the system – to go through a fatality review.  Those testifying said law enforcement officers, public health officials and child protective caseworkers must thoroughly investigate every unexplained death in order to identify failures in a system that is designed to protect children.


 


State Assemblywoman Amy  Paulin noted at the hearing  that  few fatal reviews are submitted on-time within the six month period currently required. Also, most of the testifiers at the hearing at Pace University,  stated that the six month review period is too long. A faster turn around time is needed to enable officials to correct the system before another child is at risk. Lauren Perrotto, the Child Fatality Review Team Coordinator of Rensselaer County, agreed and also recommended that the state create a database of all reviews so that each county can learn from one another. 


 


 



The conclusions were reached a public hearing that Assemblywoman Amy Paulin and members of the Assembly Standing Committee on Children and Families held on the effectiveness of the child fatality review process in New York State.  The hearing was held at Pace University – White Plains Campus.  She was joined by Assemblymembers Adam Bradley, Michele Titus, William Scarborough, who is the Chair of the Children and Families Committee, and twelve expert testifiers. 


 


    Other issues that still need to be addressed are: the need for more Child Advocacy Centers around the state; developing uniform protocols in hospitals when a child fatality occurs; adding public health experts and domestic violence advocates to existing fatality review teams; and, what can be done about chronic child neglect.


 


The hearing’s schedule and location were intentional.   On July 29, 2005, two boys who were under the watch of Westchester’s Child Protective Services were scalded to death in their parents’ home.  The parents were immediately charged with the deaths and the caseworker was fired. “Tragedies like this compel us to review the current child protection system and make needed improvements,” Assemblywoman Amy Paulin replied when asked about the purpose of the hearing.


 


  Assemblywoman Paulin will be working on legislation to broaden the child fatality review process to include all children.   Paulin stated at the closing of the hearing, “With the recent deaths in Westchester County and New York City, it is apparent that current practices are insufficient, the status quo is not good enough.  This public hearing has been an enormous help in making me better understand what needs to be changed if we are serious about protecting children.”



 


     Assemblywoman Paulin said that the Assembly Standing Committee on Children and Families is continuing to accept written input into the effectiveness of New York’s child fatality review process and will hold additional hearings around the state.   

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Assemblyman Bradley Addresses Drunken Driving

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                WPCNR’S ADAM IN ALBANY. By Assemblyman Adam T. Bradley, 89th District. December 9, 2005: Had he lived, 11-year-old VaSean Alleyne would have met up later that night to play video games with his best friend Angel Reyes, 12. Instead, on October 22, 2004, John Wirta made the deadly choice to drink and drive, killing VaSean and critically injuring Angel. After only 38 days in jail, Wirta was freed and drank again at a release party the next day.


(More)


 




 


            According to Mothers Drunk Against Drunk Driving, people driving under the influence of alcohol killed 586 other New Yorkers last year as well. While I am working to make sure that punishments are stiff, no amount of prison time can bring back VaSean or the hundreds of others like him. We must focus on stopping drunk drivers from getting behind the wheel. As we enter the deadliest month of the year for drunk driving, known as National Drunk and Drugged Driving Prevention Month, everyone should plan ahead prior to having a few too many drinks while celebrating the holidays.


 


            Unfortunately, people tend to think that accidents caused by drunk, or drugged, driving will not happen to them; yet one in five Americans will be involved in an alcohol-related crash during their lifetimes. In fact, someone is injured every minute in an alcohol-related crash.  Just recently, Kevin Morgan was killed in White Plains when he was stuck by a vehicle that then sped away.  Police have since charged a Connecticut woman with manslaughter and determined that alcohol played a significant role in this tragedy.


 


            In the Assembly, I have worked to pass legislation that not only holds drunk drivers responsible for their actions but also sends a clear message to potential drunk drivers that it is a crime with both dire repercussions and penalties. In the wake of VaSean’s death I supported legislation (Ch. 39 of 2005) ensuring that crimes like Wirta’s can be prosecuted as vehicular manslaughter so drunk drivers who kill innocent people receive more than a slap on the wrist.


 


             Additionally, I sponsored a law to toughen penalties for hit-and-run drivers who show an utter disregard for the lives of others, as seen in the tragic death of Kevin Morgan (Ch. 49 of 2005).  This law sends a stern message to such careless criminals that their selfish lack of judgment will not go unpunished.


 


Still there is more to be done because irresponsible drivers continue to threaten our roadways. Last month, police charged a Brooklyn school bus driver with drunk driving when he swerved into oncoming traffic and crashed a bus full of kids. To fight egregious crimes like this, I supported legislation (A.3692) to stiffen penalties for the most dangerous drunk drivers. This legislation will create a new crime of “aggravated DWI” for drivers with a BAC above .20 percent by increasing fines from $1,000 to $2,500 and sentencing them to up to a year in jail for the first offense. In addition, drivers of commercial vehicles, taxis and liveries could face a maximum $5,000 fine and up to four years in prison, while drivers of school buses and hazardous materials transporters would be subject to a maximum $10,000 fine and up to seven years in prison.


 

            This is the time of year in which we enjoy friends and family. Be safe and responsible as you celebrate the holiday season this year. Nobody considers themselves a drunk driver until it happens, so please, make the decision about how to get home before you start drinking – it’s just not worth the risk.

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Seton Adopts Children’s Rehab Center. New HEALING WALLS Introduced

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WPCNR WHITE PLAINS ART NEWS. By John F. Bailey. December 8, 2005: White Plains good old Westco Productions introduced its second “Healing Walls” creation at a major medical center in White Plains this morning, and new sponsorship was announced for the Children’s Rehabilation Center (originally built by Thomas and Agnes Carvel on the White Plains St. Agnes Hospital Campus).


 


 “Healing Walls” is the charming mural creation project program created by Westco Producer Susan Katz who introduced Westco’s original colorful murals at White Plains Hospital Center Pediatric Ward last Spring.


 


 



 


Robert Ruger. “Mr. White Plains,” the conscience of White Plains and a philanthropist of the heart for about the last 100 years, was one of the first to step up and donate the cost of the wall.  Ruger said it was a wonderful concept, and asked rhetorically, “who wouldn’t want to do this for kids. I just had to donate a wall.”Photo, WPCNR Art News


 


Today the second unveiling of new  “Healing Walls” was showcased with a Breakfast Reception for the “donors with a heart”  who made the Children’s Rehabilitation Center Healing Walls possible by donating the cost of creating the murals painted by White Plains artist Ann Ferencz at the Center on the former St. Agnes Hospital grounds.





 


 



Ann and Peter Vinci beside the Mural they dedicated as a memorial to their two sons who were treated at CRC. Photo, WPCNR Arts


 


 



 


Muralist Ann Ferencz beside her favorite mural at CRC, The Tree House. Photo, WPCNR Arts


 


Ms. Ferencz painted to doctors’ and therapists’ tastes, decorating the halls and offices with gala colorful children’s scenes exploring the whimsy and wonder of life with bursts of colors and engaging animal characters. One doctor wanted a barnyard scene painted. Another family, memorialzing their two sons who were treated at CRC, requested a hallway mural featuring bears and wolves. The effect of “Healing Walls” is to take a place of fear and uncertainty and turn it (a hospital) into a wonderland of “enchantment” that melts away the trauma of therapeutic treatement, and even, doctors say, plays a role in treatment every day.


 



Pat Turci, right, Executive Director of Elizabeth Seton Pediatric Center in New York, announced the CRC was to become an affiliate of Elizabeth Seton in the Spring. With her is Maoureen Tomkiel, Executive Director of CRC, and Dr. Maria Picci, Medical Director. Photo, WPCNR Arts


 


At the reception where the media was given a tour of the center, it was announced  by Pat Turci, Executive Director of the Elizabeth Seton Pediatric Center in New York, that the Children’s Rehabilitation Center was going to become an affiliate of the Seton Center in the spring, “depending on the state reimbursement. Everything’s going to stay the same. It’s just a change in sponsorship. The Archdiocese of New York asked the Sisters of Charity, would  they be interested (in running CRC), because we run the Elizabeth Seton Pediatric Center in Manhattan and it’s a similar population of children. We felt CRC matched our mission and that we could help out and financially get the center in the right direction.”


 


Ms. Turci said the Sisters would “stabilize” the Center’s funding.


 



 


Susan Katz  (Center) welcomed the gathering of donors, saying, “I want to thank the CRC for working with us on this, and I hope this fulfills some of the needs that you had.” Photo, WPCNR ARTS


 


She thanked some of the donors that were present who included Brian and Beth Wallach, The White Plains Rotary Club, Jim and Robin Benerofe, Councilman Robert Ruger,  Jeff and Molly Werner,  and the Vinci Family,  who donated the monetary gifts  to create the Healing Walls.


 


Speaking on the unusual effects of Healing Walls,  Maureen Tomkiel, Executive Director of CRC said, “The therapists here are very creative, very caring and very loving and are able to incorporate the art not only as art but as motivation for the children to walk to the next part of the wall, to touch the wall or to pick something up. We thank you from the bottom of my heart.”


 



Dr. Maria Picci, Susan Katz, (Center), and Artist Ann Ferencz. Photo by WPCNR Arts


 


Katz said she came up with the idea for creating walls that tell a story and engage when she experienced surgery herself 18 months ago and found herself staring at “mustard colored walls with $1 paintings. I thought there’s got to be a better way to speed up the recuperation process and to help patients with healing. Healing Walls came about. We started at White Plains Hospital last spring. We’re just about moving in here. We’ve got a lot to do, there’s still a lot of walls who need sponsors, so if anyone would like to sponsor a wall or an examination room or an office wall, it’s $600.


 



A Barnyard  on a Healing Wall Turns a Doctor’s Office into an Enchanted, not-so-frightening-place. Photo by WPCNR ARTS.


 


Ms. Ferencz, the muralist, speaking to the gathering, said seeing her work in interaction with the children is fascinating: “The kids are fabulous. They’re the best part. Even though the staff is excellent, you have to see what the kids are like  when they’re walking in here. This is their home. This is where they really feel comfortable. I want to encourage you all to reassess your feelings about little children with braces. They are not fragile.  These are some of the strongest people I’ve ever met.”


 


Ferencz has painted 8 walls so far at CRC, some of which she said took two days, some a day, and every time she comes in she adds to them. “The nice thing about painting here when you have a long time assignment, it just flows. You have all your paints out, and once you’ve established a theme, there weren’t any pencils after the first. The kids each one has some kind of special difference about them, and when they come here  they’re not different here. This is their domain.”


 


Asked by WPCNR what her next project was, Ms. Ferencz said she hoped to do more Healing Walls: “I’d like to keep this Healing Walls going. It enables local establishments to spruce up their walls. Sue is right. When you have little postage stamp dollar store posters it sends a message that this isn’t an important place.”

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White Plains Summit Construction To Finish White Plains Housing Authority HQ

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WPCNR WINBROOK REPORT. By John F. Bailey. December 8, 2005: Mack Carter, Executive Director of the White Plains Housing Authority, announced to WPCNR Monday that construction has resumed on the White Plains Housing Authority Headquarters at 223 Lexington Avenue after 9 months of no activity.



Summit Construction to the Rescue: Steam shovel clearing ground on new Housing Authority Headquarters Tuesday. Summit is expected to complete the HQ structure, a new annex to 223 Lexington Avenue, within five months. Photo, WPCNR News


In an interview at temporary Housing Authority Headquarters in the rear of 223 Lexington Avenue on the Winbrook grounds, Carter told WPCNR the bonding company (as per the original construction contract with White & Carr of New York City, the previous contractor), has engaged Summit Constructioin of Ferris Avenue of White Plains to complete the construction of the new headquarters.


Work stopped on the project nine months ago when the previous contractor left the job.


 Carter reports the new offices, conference rooms and community room addition to 223 Winbrook is scheduled to be completed in April or May this spring. White & Carr had previously stopped construction activity with no explanation.


Carter said it was the bond company responsibility to pay for any cost overruns beyond the $2.4 million price of the project.

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David Chong, Deputy Commissioner of Public Safety Departs

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WPCNR POLICE GAZETTE. By John F. Bailey. December 7, 2005: David Chong, the Number 2 man in White Plains law enforcement,  Deputy Commissioner of Public Safety of the City of White Plains  has abruptly  left his position, and is on a paid “administrative leave,” after which he will seek “other opportunities,” according to Martin Gleeson, Special Counsel, Office of the Commissioner.



David Chong. Former Deputy Commissioner of Public Safety, Number 2 Man in White Plains law, shown in May 2005. Peerless Leader, well-liked, the man who told WPCNR, “In White Plains, we lead from the front,” on a recent security assignment heading security for the White Plains Hospital Center gala,  has left the Department for family reasons. Photo, WPCNR News Archive


As of this hour the Commissioner of Public Safety has issued no statement on Mr. Chong’s departure and there has been no announcement  from the Mayor’s Office about this city personnel situation.


Mr. Gleeson reported exclusively to WPCNR that Mr. Chong has recently adopted a child, and has decided to take time with his family. Asked how long this period of paid administrative leave would last, Gleeson said he did not know at this time. Asked if Mr. Chong would return, Mr. Gleeson said no, that at the end of the administrative leave  that Mr. Chong would ” pursue other opportunities.”.


WPCNR asked Mr. Gleeson to relay to Mr. Chong that WPCNR would like to interview Mr.Chong about his new child, whom, WPCNR understands was adopted from China, and that Mr. Chong personally traveled to China a number of weeks ago to bring the child back to America.

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Seidel: Mayor Signs on to Water Accord.

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WPCNR Water Watch. By Dan Seidel. December 6, 2005:  Last night a “present” was given to Tom Roach and Dan Seidel by Mayor Delfino – White Plains has finally signed off to a Municipal Understanding Agreement which will enable the County to receive federal grants monies for cleanup and survey of the Bronx River. This is a necessary step in cleaning up our river,our river banks and making the river fishable and boatable as well as improving the flood, sedimentation and erosion controls. We start our “greening” process. Now onto “green building” methods and standards, not to mention mandating of the use of ultra low sulfur diesel fuel for all projects in White Plains.

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Police Report Probable Suicide at Galleria on Martine–Victim Identified.

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WPCNR POLICE GAZETTE. December 6, 2005 UPDATED 3:25 P.M. E.S.T. UPDATED 10:00 P.M. E.S.T.: A young man identifed as Clement Roosevelt Austin, male, black, 28 years of age, from Larchmont, NY. is reported by police to have jumped from the roof of the 7-story Lexington Avenue Garage at The Galleria at approximately 11:45 A.M. this morning according to Martin Gleeson, Special Counsel, Office of the Commissioner of the White Plains Department of Public Safety.


 Gleeson told WPCNR, “We’re calling it a suicide, pending investigation. The investigating team found the victim with massive head trauma on the side walk. He was taken to White Plains Hospital Center where he was pronounced dead on arrival.”




Scene of Suicide. Police inspect area where Clement Austin took his own life. Photo, WPCNR News


 Gleeson said no suicide note was found with the victim, whose mother resides on Harmon Avenue, White Plains.


 Police on the scene told WPCNR their first effort always goes to helping the victim, and the victim is immediately transported to the hospital in such cases. This is the third apparent suicide victim at the Galleria that WPCNR is aware of, one occurring in March of 2004.



Suicide Scene. A Closer Look. Photo, WPCNR News.

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Little League Registration for 2006 Begins

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WPCNR PRESS BOX. December 5, 2005: The White Plains Little League has opened its Registration Process for children 5 to 12 for the 2006 season with the convenient, pay-by-credit card registration on the internet.


Parents may register their future Hall of Famers online at www.whiteplainslittleleague.com. Registration for one child for a 12 game season beginning April 29 is $100. In-person registration will be held at Ridgeway School  December 17 from 9 AM to 1 PM; January 7, 2006  from 1 to 5 PM and January 12 from 6:30 to 8:30 PM. Parents should watch for the Little League Flyer being sent home with children from the schools.



White Plains Little League, Opening Day, 2002. Photo, WPCNR Sports Archive.

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Board of Education Invites Citizens to Help Prepare 2006-2007 Budget

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WPCNR SCHOOL DAYS. From Michelle Schoenfeld. December 6, 2005 (EDITED):  The White Plains Board of Education has announced the beginning of the formation of its Annual Budget Committee (ABC) for the tenth consecutive year, as it begins the formal process of preparing the 2006-07 school budget. (The 2005-2006 school budget is currently $154.7 million.) The ABC is an advisory group which provides input, feedback and suggestions to the District. 


President Donna McLaughlin said, “The Board is pleased and proud that the budget has passed by an overwhelming majority since the inception of the vote, and believes that the ABC has contributed greatly to that success, through its assistance and support.” 


The Committee is comprised of representatives of more than a dozen civic and community organizations and other interested individuals.  The first meeting, on February 8th, will include an orientation session for new members, as well as background information.  Two additional meetings with  the administration and Board of Education members will follow, on February 15th and March 8th. 


Meetings are held at 7:30 P.M. at Education House, 5 Homeside Lane and will include an overview of the budget as well as discussions of key issues and recommendations. 


        Anyone wishing to serve on the ABC may call Michele Schoenfeld, District Clerk, at 422-2071, by January 10th.  All of the meetings are open to the public.

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