WPCNR GRILLMAN GAZETTE. By The Grillin Gourmet. ReInternetted from The CitizeNetReporter Archives of the Ancient Past. July 4, 2023:
No matter whether you’re a New York Liberal, a Michigan Wolverine, A Trump supporter, A Desantisman, BIDENET or California free spirit, there’s still one phenomenon the country still believes in AND IS SOLIDLY ALL IN ON– the American grillin’ Holiday Cookout.
Thanks to the chimney charcoal starter and its glowing orange coals, the backyard American barbeque DNA macho in the amateur chef was inordinately delayed by the coldest WETTEST windiest spring in memory.
But today its 71 degrees in White Plains New York USA, CLIMBING TO 77 WABCCCCCC DEGREES. The immortal deejay Big Dan Ingram is telling you to “Roll Your Bod,” Beach and the grill are READY!
Steak was raised outside!
It was born to be cooked outside.
The outdoor charcoal grilled steak puts the steakhouse in its place!
In this griller’s opinion, outdoor grilling proves once again to be superior to the overpriced artificial-tasting butter steak.
Sleek decor and atmosphere cannot duplicate backyard origins.
The economy may be bobbing and weaving , your home equity shrinking, but take heart even the hobo can grill! It’s part of American DNA. It’s Democracy!
To do real steak right , you have to do it outside on charcoal.
The instinct of generations of the American backyard grilling tradition passed up from the cave, enjoyed at Valley Forge. Lewis and Clark bit into venison discovering the Northwest.
Cowboys sunk teeth into rare beef around chuck wagons on the prairie and Miss Kitty’s Long Branch Saloon and up from the Southland , barbecue inbred and passed on from American father to American son – cutting across nationality and station – gives you real steak – not $100 technology enhanced cuts.
Flaming charcoal makes steak a living thing in your mouth! Tastes so damn good.
Why go out for dinner when you can tap your inner griller and say I can cook steak better!
The difference is the air, the smoke, the way marinade just drips down into the coals and gets into the meat. It’s chemistry, Americans! We need that American chemistry of gathering around the grill and socializing and appreciating each other and respecting each other.
What is it about the American Grillman that’s so special that his or hers backyard cuts charred to perfection beat the insider professionals’ inflation-friendly ostentatious steaks?
It’s the unique chemistry of being American and believing in the charcoal flames. The campfire. Delmonico’s.
On Memorial Day, or Independence Day it’s a must. t’s not July 4 unless you’re grillin’. On Labor Day, if you’re not workin’, you’re grillin’.
There’s just something about the searing intensity of glowing charcoal combining mystically with the testosterone and instinctual synergy between red meat and the dedicated outdoor griller – it beats in taste, juiciness and texture the contrived technology of the most expensive restaurant equipment.
No matter how tasty the megabuck meat is in the swank sticker shock steak palaces of the expense accounters, there’s always that artificial packaged taste that betrays the indoor steak. The butter softness. The soft crust of the black topped surface of the indoor steak just does not have the nubile grizzled roughhewn rugged flamed, charred macho, and reluctant yield of the outdoor one-on-one grilled steak that fights your bicuspids with spirit, and sealed in juiciness.
The Chimney Starter the Secret.
Pour in a helping of those ultimate black beauties, Kingsford charcoal briquettes into the chimney top.
Fifteen minutes before the wife has the sides ready, take a wooden match to the apertures in the base of the starter and light up the edges of the newsprint. Within 10-15 minutes you’ve got coals a firey orange red. You’re ready to outcook the pros.
After the Griller’s wife has marinated the meat – the bone trimmed Porterhouse is sizzzzzzzlllllllllling in the caressing deep searing heat of glowing orange briquettes – 4 minutes a side in 400 degree heat and deft turning and surgical “rareness checks” – the seasoned grilling caballero simply has a feel for the meat – passed genetically down from generations of American grillers.
The combination of cauldron, flavored steel grill rods and perfect flames creates the grillmark “brand” lets you know just by looking at the cut, you’re going to get the natural taste of the backyard steak – No one can do a great cut like you can!
As any redblooded American Grillman will tell you when doing a steak – you can’t deliver a steak by manual or instructions.
You have to feel the meat. Feel it cook. You just know its time. Hearty smoke promising juicy meat that melts in your mouth creates an experience only the grillman or GrillGal knows.
Every cut is not the same.
Each deserves a surgeon’s attention to cooking timing and detail. Surgical checks are necessary.
The American Grillman becomes one with the meat. With eye and knowledge of the hue of red – you just know by instinct when she’s done.
Cooking is slowed down by moving the meats to the side off the heat to keep the American beauties warm
With the wife’s deft presentation, sweet potato fries, corn pudding, fresh beans and mushrooms the Grillman’s natural art creates the taste of traditional American 3-Day Weekend.
Get those grills handy and ready to fire up to get that taste of American unity once again.
When you’re over the grill, you’re King of the Hill.