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WPCNR ALBANY ROUNDS. From the Governor’s Press Office. March 31, 2009: Governor David A. Paterson, Majority Leader Malcolm A. Smith and Speaker Sheldon Silver Sunday announced a budget agreement to close the largest budget gap in State history, institute long-overdue reforms that will improve the efficiency and effectiveness of State government, and stabilize New York’s long-term finances by dramatically reducing future projected deficits. The agreement is subject to final enactment by the Legislature.

“Over the last year, New York faced a historic fiscal crisis that tested our resolve. But by working together cooperatively with our partners in the Legislature, we made the tough choices necessary to address that challenge through shared sacrifice and responsible budgeting,” said Governor Paterson. “The agreement we are announcing today closes the largest deficit in State history, stabilizes our finances, and institutes critical reforms that will help eliminate waste and inefficiency in our government. We have produced a budget that provides a solid foundation to move forward and address the challenges ahead. We have accomplished this with a budget that holds government accountable to the people of New York, and protects those who can not protect themselves.”

“Facing the worst fiscal crisis since the Great Depression, with economic conditions worsening by the day and no sector of the State immune to the pain of a struggling economy, we made the tough choices these difficult times demand,” Majority Leader Smith said. “We held firm to a core set of priorities – maintain strong education funding, protect healthcare from the harshest cuts while achieving long-needed reform to increase investments in primary and preventative care, and create new jobs wherever and whenever possible. And coupled with the Senate’s commitment to enacting property tax relief this session through a middle class circuit breaker, we will also address skyrocketing property taxes. For New Yorkers across the State, we have created a budget that confronts the dire economic problems responsibly and positions us to achieve the long-term economic growth we need to get our State back on track.”

“Faced with the largest deficit in New York’s history, our plan makes $6 billion in spending cuts – including historic reforms to Medicaid that will save $1.6 billion this year and billions more in future years – while leveraging $5 billion in federal stimulus dollars and a temporary increase in income taxes on high earners to balance the budget on time and prevent deep cuts to schools, healthcare, seniors, child welfare and the environment,” said Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver. “In addition, this budget advances two long held Assembly priorities: reform of the Rockefeller drug laws to emphasize treatment and prevention over incarceration and an expansion of New York’s nickel deposit law to bottled water – a move that will clean up New York’s environment and raise an additional $115 million for green initiatives throughout the State.”

The Enacted Budget agreement closes a two-year $17.7 billion 2009-10 budget gap and reduces the State’s multi-year deficit by an estimated 80 percent from approximately $60 billion to approximately $11 billion. These estimates are preliminary. The Division of the Budget will release an Enacted Budget Financial Plan within 30 days of budget enactment.

Along with the recurring impact of the Deficit Reduction Plan, today’s Enacted Budget agreement reflects $6.5 billion of the spending reductions in the Executive Budget – the largest amount in State history. Additionally, it includes $5.2 billion in revenue actions, the largest of which is a temporary $4 billion personal income tax surcharge on higher-income New Yorkers.

Based on preliminary estimates, General Fund spending is expected to increase no more than 1 percent and total approximately $54 billion. All Funds spending is expected total approximately $131.8 billion, an increase of $10.5 billion or 8.7 percent. The vast majority of that increase ($7.2 billion) represents American Recovery and Reinvestment Act (ARRA) aid that must, according to federal guidelines, be spent in the current fiscal year. The remainder reflects negotiated State funds spending restorations ($2.0 billion) and previously committed capital and debt service spending ($1.3 billion).

Over the past year, the State has experienced a precipitous decline in revenues. In the last two months alone, since the passage of the 2008-09 Deficit Reduction Plan, the State’s budget deficit has increased by $4.7 billion from $13 billion to $17.7 billion, primarily due to lower than anticipated projected tax collections, as well as increased pressures on entitlement spending. This decline is roughly similar to the amount that will be collected from the temporary Personal Income Tax surcharge on high-income New York taxpayers.

The Enacted Budget also utilizes $6.2 billion of federal economic recovery funding that Congress allocated to help states stabilize their finances and stimulate the economy. This funding is required to be spent during the coming fiscal year and may not be used to fund rainy day reserves or retire debt. Federal economic recovery aid will be targeted to address the State’s deficit, restore proposed spending reductions in health care, education, human services, local aid to New York City, and mental hygiene, as well as to eliminate selected revenue proposals.

Selected Enacted Budget Highlights

Education
In 2009-10, General Support for Public Schools is projected to total approximately $21.9 billion, an increase of $405 million – reflecting the elimination of a proposed $1.1 billion Deficit Reduction Assessment through the use of American Reinvestment and Recovery Act aid. When enhanced funding for the Title I ($454 million) and IDEA ($398 million) programs is included which are provided to school districts pursuant to a federal formula, which was provided through federal economic recovery legislation, School Aid is expected to increase by $1.2 billion compared to 2008-09.

Foundation Aid will be maintained at $14.9 billion, the same amount as 2008-09 levels in both the 2009-10 and 2010-11 school years. Additionally, although the full phase-in of Foundation Aid will be delayed, the commitment to Foundation Aid has been maintained with phase in now taking place over seven years and full implementation occurring in 2013-14.

The Enacted Budget also eliminates an Executive Budget proposal to make school districts responsible for a 15 percent share of preschool special education costs. Rescinding this proposal will provide a fiscal benefit of $185 million to school districts in 2009-10.

Health Care
The Enacted Budget includes a record Health Care savings package totaling $2.3 billion in 2009-10. The 2009-10 Executive Budget recommended $3.5 billion of health care savings, which included a $404 million tax on non-diet soft drinks that Governor Paterson and Legislative Leaders previously agreed to eliminate. The Budget also permanently reforms New York’s Medicaid hospital reimbursement system to lower costs while improving patient outcomes. These savings will be invested in primary and preventive care to create a higher quality and more sustainable system.

Local Government Aid
The scheduled Aid and Incentives for Municipalities (AIM) payment for New York City will be fully restored by redirecting total $328 million of the State’s allocation of federal economic recovery funding.

Funding for AIM program outside of New York City is preserved at 2008-09 payment levels for 2009-10 and 2010-11. The State will still provide municipalities with $755 million in AIM support.

The Enacted Budget eliminates an Executive Budget proposal to reduce State payments in lieu of taxes and maintain other taxes on State-owned lands at 2008-09 levels.

The Governor and Legislative Leaders agreed to continue to review a package of mandate relief proposals for local governments.

Higher Education
The Enacted Budget restores $35 million in modifications to the Tuition Assistance Program, $49 million in reductions to community colleges and $31 million in reductions to university-wide programs for SUNY and CUNY. The Enacted Budget also establishes the New York Higher Education Loan Program (NYHELPs) proposed by Governor Paterson in the Executive Budget. This initiative would provide, on an annual basis, a minimum of $350 million in loans to 45,000 resident students enrolled in a degree-granting program at a college or university in New York State.

Human Services/Mental Hygiene
The 2009-10 Enacted Budget restores $254 million of human services programs and $36 million of mental hygiene programs. These include: homeless prevention programs, refugee resettlement programs, Community Optional Preventive programs, reductions in the New York City adult shelter reimbursement and the personal needs allowance for Safety Net recipients, and many others. In addition, the Enacted Budget includes the first increase to the welfare grant since 1990 to help assist those in poverty during a time of unprecedented economic turmoil. Implementation of the public assistance grant increase will be will be accelerated, with recipients expected to receive a 10 percent increase in July, 2009, with the total 30 percent increase to be implemented by July, 2011. The cost of the grant increase will be paid by the State for three years using TANF funding.

Transportation
The Enacted Budget restores $20 million of transit aid. It also restores a $96.5 million reduction in capital aid to local governments for highway and bridge projects under the CHIPS program for municipalities outside New York City and another $15.3 million for New York City.

Government Reforms
The Enacted Budget implements several significant reforms that will reduce the cost of State government moving forward. These include Empire Zone Reform, to rein in long-documented abuses in the Empire Zone program by raising standards to ensure taxpayers’ investments create jobs; Rockefeller Drug Laws to provide judges the discretion to divert non-violent drug-addicted individuals to treatment alternatives that are shown to be far more successful than prison; and closing three underutilized prisons and nine juvenile justice facilities to save taxpayers money.

Environment
The Enacted Budget will expand the five-cent nickel deposit on carbonated beverages to now include bottled water. The state will retain 80 percent of unclaimed deposits on all beverages, a change from the 100 percent of which are currently kept by bottlers. The Enacted Budget also will increase Environmental Protection Fund appropriations by $17 million from $205 million to $222 million, and restores a proposed $45 million transfer from the Environmental Protection Fund. The enacted budget restores the Real Estate Transfer Tax as the primary funding source for the Environmental Protection Fund providing almost $200 million in support in 2009-10.

STAR Rebate
The Enacted Budget eliminates the STAR rebate program as well as the corresponding enhanced NYC STAR tax credit, producing savings of $1.5 billion in 2009-10. Even after this action, the STAR exemption program and NYC STAR credit will continue to provide $3.3 billion in property tax relief. Additionally, the Executive Budget proposal to decrease the “floor” reduction – the maximum reduction in STAR benefits that can occur as a result of changes in assessed value or market value –from 18 percent to 11 percent is not included in the Enacted Budget.

Taxes
The Enacted Budget includes taxes and fee actions that will produce $5.3 billion in revenues in 2009-10. The largest increase is a temporary Personal Income Tax Surcharge for higher-income taxpayers. This will temporarily increase the marginal State personal income tax rate for higher-income filers for a three-year period from tax year 2009 to tax year 2011. For married couples filing jointly, the marginal rate will increase from 6.85 percent to 7.85 percent for filers with incomes above $300,000 and 8.97 percent for filers with incomes above $500,000. This surcharge is expected to produce $4.0 billion in revenue in the 2009-10 fiscal year, which is an amount that is approximately equivalent to the $4.7 billion increase in the deficit that has occurred since the passage of the 2008-09 Deficit Reduction Plan on February 3.

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WPCNR SPORTS. Memoires of an Anonymous Parent.  March 31, 2009: I used to have a regular life. (Actually, many of my friends say that sentence should say, “I used to have a life”, period.) It doesn’t really seem that long ago. Then I became a Softball Dad.

White Plains Tigers 2009– Scrimmage Pearl River in 20 Degree windchill Monday. It was a nail-biter literally. Coach Ted O’Donnell praised Emily Frawley’s pitching and his team’s solid defensive play: “Emily did an excellent job mixing up her pitches and keeping the Pearl River batters off balance. The other positive was our defense which did a good job especially considering it was our 1st competition this season. Junior Christy Reina is our starting shortstop for the 2nd year.”

 

My lawn used to be like a carpet. It was green, mowed, trimmed, fertilized, and watered. Any weeds that dared to show their leaves were pulled out by their roots. Now I have two big bare spots forty feet apart. I like the bare spots.

 

I like them because they are the only places that the weeds and crab grass aren’t threatening to take over.

My car used to draw admiring looks and comments. It was clean and waxed and shined and Armor All’d. Now it only draws attention when it wins the “dirtiest car in the parking lot” prize.

My friends and I used to spend Monday mornings talking about five-iron shots, three-putts, and titanium shafts. Now I bore them to death with detailed play-by-play descriptions of five or six low-scoring ball games. Somehow, they just don’t understand the drama of a 2-0 game.

I used to think anything over $40 was an exorbitant price for a ball bat.
Now the contents of my daughter’s equipment bag are worth more than everything else in the car together – including clothes, jewelry, watches, and laptop computer.

I used to have a great wife. Still do, Thank God. But that’s a tribute to her patience and good humor. We used to sit and talk for hours. We still do – to keep each other awake when we’re headed home in the wee hours of Monday morning.  We used to wonder what the kids would do when they grew up. Now she wants to know what I’m going to do IF I ever grow up.

My summer casual wardrobe used to be made up of color-coordinated polo shirts, cool cottons in bright colors, and the occasional “aloha” shirt.

Now I have a closet full of T-shirts in gray and blue. Those that don’t have MAJESTIX on the front have a cute saying on the back, like “If You Follow Me Long Enough, You’ll End Up at a Ball Field.” or “Friends Don’t Let Friends Play Slowpitch”

 I used to glue myself to the sofa and watch the NCAA basketball tournament and the Masters from opening Ceremony through network sign off. Now, I catch the highlights on Sportscenter.

I used to be one of the tops in my field. Thank goodness, I still am.
(You have to keep a good paycheck coming in if you want to support a
Tournament Softball habit!)

I used to have sympathy for umpires. I used to think boys were tough. I used to think a double-header was a long day at the ballfield. Now we’re just getting warmed up.

We used to spend our summer vacation relaxing on the beach or visiting family. Now we hit the road with 40 of our closest friends.

I used to think the ideal woman had brains and beauty. She still does,
but now she better also be quick, courageous, and able to bunt a good rise ball.
I used to look for little restaurants that served seafood fresh off the boat.
Now I’m a connoisseur of nachos and smoked sausages.

I used to be concerned that I would fall into the trap of living my life through my daughter. Now I know that I’m privileged to live my life WITH my daughter.

 

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WPCNR SCHOOL DAYS. By John F. Bailey. March 30, 2009: The Board of Education approved a $185.8 Million budget to send to district voters May 19 Monday evening, cutting the budget from $185,9, based on a restoration of $2 Million in education aid from the state, restored over the weekend by Governor David Paterson, Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver and Senate leader Malcolm Smith in their budget compromise agreement. The .74% increase in the budget results in a 2.4% property tax increase resulting in a school tax of $8,000 on the $700,000 average White Plains home.

Forty persons attended the official adoption of the White Plains City School District Budget for 2009-10 Monday evening.

This means if you own a home in the $650,000-$700,000 price range, you will see your property tax go up in July from $7,618 to $7,990, (pushing on $8,000 ) an increase of $372, (within $8 of the WPCNR/White Plains Week television program estimated two weeks ago). Combined with the White Plainsian’s average $700,000 home county tax of $2,400 and the city tax, projected at $2,800  for that $700,000 home if the city budget is the same as this year’s ($161.7M), the average Mr. and Mrs. White Plains homeowner of that $700,000 home will pay $13,200 in taxes next year. If the city runs a budget more than $161.7 Million depending on the deficit the city runs (projected at $9 Million to $11 Million), the tax for that $700,000 southend home would hit $14,000 from all three taxing authorities: the schools, the county and the city.

If the city budget drops revenues as much as $11 Million as previously projected by the city, that city tax will go up to $3,500 on the same home pushing the total property tax up to about $14,000.

Another Stealth Tax Raise included in the Three Men in a Room Budget.

WPCNR was told today by the Office of Real Property Services that another cut in the key STAR Exemptions is included in the Paterson-Silver-Smith state budget agreed upon over the weekend. The STAR Exemptions, despite what Fred Seiler said this evening, are being cut again by 11%, not 18% as was originally in Governor Patterson’s budget, but still hiking the White Plainsian’s property tax to help fund their own state aid.

The restoration in district school aid  of $2 Million to White Plains  is being partially paid for again by the White Plains taxpayer because in the final Albany budget, the STAR BASIC EXEMPTION and STAR ENHANCED EXEMPTION ( the allowance deducted off your home assessment) is being reduced another 11% lowering your exemption from $3330 to $2,964  if you’re  under 65, and from  $6,500 to $5,785 if you are over-65. Jeffrey Gloak of the New York State Office of Real Property Services confirmed to WPCNR Monday that the 11% cut in the STARs was the final version of the Patterson-Silver-Smith Budget. Proportionately the Over-65 taxpayer is hurt much more by this once-again, not-publicized (except by the CitizeNetReporter) cut.

The restoration of the aid was included in the present budget to reduce the tax levy from $519 per $1,000 of assessed value to $515.15 per assessed value instead of cutting the budget more than the $185.9 it was at last week.

Fred Seiler, the Assistant Superintendent for Business said that the Metropolitan Transportation Authority  tax of   point 33% of the district’s total salaries (.33%) looks like it is going to go through, and that was included in the approved school budget tonight, costing the district $328,510 (slight more than the salaries of two data processing executives the district hired last August).

Four persons criticized the district for adding $500,000 in a new language program, to bring foreign language to the Highlands Middle School, while laying off personnel, and not spending enough money to remove children attending the district illegally, removing a social worker from one of the schools, and four not looking harder to cut expenses.

Seiler said the district budget approved tonight is essentially the budget the district will have regardless of whether the voters approve or turn down the budget on May 20, because the $185,778,149  budget is $7,371 less than the allowed contingency budger of $193,149,841. Seiler said it was up to the board whether to cut the budget more or adopt the budget at $185.8 M after any negative vote.

Superintendent of Schools Timothy Connors, wrangling his last school budget for the district prior to his leaving the district June 30, said “I think we’re in good shape. We did not cut any of our wonderful programs. We’ve maintained class size. However, the largest problem we have is the continuing loss of assessibles. Our leaders are going to have to address that.”

Peter Bassano, Board member, up for reelection in May, thanked the community for their input and numerous e-mails because they helped, he said, the board make their decisions in an “unbelievably bizarre environment.” He warned, “Next year is going to be worse. This is the beginning of a roller coaster ride, and it’s not going to get better.”

Donna McLaughlin, President of the School Board, said the Board does listen to the people, “but we don’t always agree.”

Teacher Negotiations Go on to Fact-Finding Stage

Kerry Broderick, the President of the White Plains Teachers Association described last Thursday’s Teacher negations as “strikingly unproductive,” and reported that the next stage of mediations would proceed to Fact-Finding, the discoveries and positions of which would be made public after the mediator’s final report.

Broderick said that only half of White Plains 651 Teachers would receive automatic step raises next year because the other half are already earning the maximum salaries of the district.

Actual positions consolidated or eliminated not  fully clarified.

The Superintendent of Schools Connors said two administrative positions (Athletic Director and Director of Physical Education) were combined into one. Another Administrator was kept on but would teach part-time. Twenty certified positions were eliminated, but were not disclosed; Twenty Teaching Assistants were eliminated, as well as 3 Security Positions and 4 Clerical positions.

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WPCNR SCHOOL DAYS. March 29, 2009: The Board of Education will meet Monday evening at 7:30 P.M. at Education to adopt officially the 2009-2010 School Budget, expected to be $185.9 Million, barring last minute trimming.  The Superintendent of Schools Timothy Connors is expected to report the exact number of persons expected to lose their positions in order to keep the budget to a 1% increase over last year. Last week, the Superintendent advised WPCNR, he expected just 12 persons would lose their jobs in position cuts amounting to  4 Clerical positions, 20 teaching assistants, 3 Security Guards and 20 Certified Positions (defined as any position requiring state certification, such as social workers, or teachers) and 4 Administrative Positions.

The property tax increase going into tomorrow evening meeting is  3.9%The Assistant Superintendent for Business Fred Seiler confirmed two weeks ago that the new Assessment Roll is at $286.8 Million, requiring the district to generate a tax levy of $149.9 Million on a school budget of $185.9 Million.  Seiler pegged the new tax rate White Plainsians will pay at $522.68 per $1,000 of assessed valuation. Two years ago, that tax rate was $474.61 per $1,000.

As of Monday afternoon, the Superintendent said 4 Clerical positions would eliminated, 20 Teaching Assistants, 3 Security Guards, and 20 Certified Positions (which he defined as any position requiring state certification, such as social workers, or teachers), and 4 Administrators. He declined to identify the Administrators who are currently employed. He estimated that about 12 persons total would actually lose jobs.

Seiler blamed this year’s increase on the $5 Million drop in city assessments combined with a loss of state aid of $1.5 Million next year, and the increase in the debt service for the capital project, the last installment of which will be borrowed for in 2009-10.

For reference, if you own a White Plains home priced at $700,000, with an assessed value (after the STAR BASIC EXEMPTION computation  of $15, 100 — you are paying $7,618 in school taxes this year. Next year you will pay $7,892.47, unless more state aid is forthcoming. A school tax increase of $275. If your house is worth $1 Million and up,  depending on your assessment you’re going over the $10,000 mark in school taxes.   

REVENUES FINALLY UNVEILED.  Note whack out of state aid, $1.6 Million and Interest on Investments ($850,000)  necessitating $2.4 Million of the $3.1 Million budget increase.

Superintendent of Schools Timothy Connors said  in the first public hearing on the budget two weeks ago that any aid coming from the state  bailout stimulus now being dolled out in Albany will not likely be showing up in school districts until 2011-2012 and 2012-2013.

$185,912,042 Budget is $7.2  Million less than allowed Contingency Budget

Fred Seiler pointed out that by the state forumula the school district would have been allowed a Contingency Budget of $193.2 Million, noting that the budget presented tonight was 7.2 Million less than if the district had decided to raise the budget to the allowable Contingency Budget level — a level first predicted by WPCNR in the early budget process.

SPECIAL BOARD OF EDUCATION MEETING

Monday March 30, 2008

Education House

7:30 P.M.

AGENDA

I.          Opening of Meeting:

            Pledge of Allegiance

            Oral announcements by the Board President, Board Members

II.         Communications: 

III.       Public Participation:  (The Board will entertain comments from the public on any issue, with a time limit of three minutes per person, and a maximum total of 25 minutes.)

IV.       Superintendent’s Report:

V.        Summary Action Items:

VI.       Other Action:

1.         Recommended adoption of the Proposed Budget for 2009-10.

VII.      Board Discussion:

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WPCNR VICARIOUS VARIETY. By John F. Bailey. March 28, 2009: Even the Princess of Print, the glamorous scoopsteress, the nosy redheaded reporter, globetrotting high-heeled high priestess of truth, justice and dashing romance fell victim to the national downturn in journalism today.

Taking her dismissal in stride, unruffled, regal Brenda Starr emerges from Flash Offices in Chicago today after getting the bad news. Ms.Starr refused to talk to reporters about her dismissal from The Flash her home paper for years.

Bottomline, her publisher put Brenda Starr “on furlough” from her position she has held on The Flash for years.  Bottomline broke the news personally to the astounded reporter-editor upon her return from Kazookistan where her persistance in finding her nephew’s father, her unrequited love of the past, Basil St. John, lead to exposing an international artifact smuggling ring.  

WPCNR is attempting to contact Ms. Starr to see what her plans are for the future. Ms. Starr is the most well-known print personality to fall victim to the dwindling circulation in print ranks. Idol for thousands of women who have followed her exploits with The Flash in the Chicago Tribune, Ms. Starr’s departure is a shock. Long having eclipsed her rival, Lois Lane, as world’s most glamorous reporter, her departure signals the present state of print journalism. Ms. Starr whose ability to negotiate a ledge 50 stories above the street in stilettos has long been admired, while dressed in the smartest fashions while always getting the scoop has been unsurpassed.

Taking a look at the decline in print circulation, WPCNR links it to the national trend towards consolidation of news coverage to simplify advertising sales space and cut down on local editions. Your local paper is no longer local in many cities. In the places WPCNR has traveled there still are still local papers but with more local coverage that retains leadership: papers in Portland, Lowell, Ann Arbor, Nashville, New London, Detroit, Boulder,  still have a local feel to them, still print the police blotters, still cover the local school board diligently, but even those papers are changing.

There’s a distinct lack of beat coverage in many papers. A lack of parochial in-depth reporting on trends in the community, and finances. Reporters are stretched thin. The relationships between reporters and organizations they cover are not what they used to be. Papers now attempt to keep readership with those human interest profiles of movers and shaker types, community activists, and popular subjects: pets, children, high school musicals which generally are generally advertisements in disguise, and pathetic attempts to playact at providing “community coverage.”

Papers are moving to the internet, attempting to be more timely in their coverage. However, those internet operations tend to be reprints of print stories, and deliver television news, superficial and one-shotted without adequate follow-up. But again, to move advertising spots on websites the coverage has to be widespread enough to attract a wide audience, hence the big blanket with many patchworks in it approach.

What do furloughed icons do? Does Ms. Starr have an agent? Will she start her own internet website? Will she consider switching to cable television? MSNBC, CNBC?

We understand CNN and FOX News as well as CBS have put in calls to Ms. Starr’s apartment. After all, an animated Ms. Starr on the CBS Evening News would be an excellent replacement for the present program.

Rumors that President Barack Obama was immediately considering her for press secretary could not be confirmed. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was said to be on shaky ground now  by Beltway insiders, with Ms. Starr’s international experience and savvy now available to the administration. The Treasury Secretary, much maligned for his charisma gap, feels threatened due to Ms. Starr’s ability to appear fashionably current on a reporter’s salary for many years.

Does this start a whole new life for Ms. Starr?

We hope this frees Ms. Starr from the tyranny of the bottomline-oriented publisher in the era when you’re paying columnists mints and reporters peanuts, returning us to the days of yesteryear when newspapers were NEWSpapers, not Adverpapers. When editors uncovered scandals being perpetrated before the perps got arrested, when deals were exposed at the time they were made, instead of after the fact, when it was too late.

Ms. Starr’s comments on journalism are well-known, and are classics. The sarcastic, irresistible titian scribe, always impeccably attired even the sands of Kazookistan, delivered these pips, as attributed to her by Dale Messick, her creator:

Here are just a few:

“That’s the problem. Reporters aren’t really qualified to do anything.”

“Sometimes I think newspapers care more about profits than people.”

“How many trees would be saved if we outlawed press releases?”

“I don’t need a makeover. I’m just a lowly print reporter!”

“Another 22 year-old reporter who will do twice the work at half the pay?”

“Sometimes I think everything about journalism was better when I was younger — the clothes, the stories, the newsrooms.”

“Assignment and assignation are almost the same word.”

“Ah, my pencil and notepad. Where would reporters be without their social armor?”

“Paper dolls in the paper! At least editors have figured out what it akes to get readers!”

“If more journalists dressed with flair, maybe newspapers wouldn’t so dull.”