Hits: 188

Frank and Penny out for a drive (Christiane Bale and Jesse Buckley) America’s VERY HOT Couple
WPCNR SHOCK THEATRE Review by Zacherle March 16, 2026:

JOHN ZACHERLE (ROLAND) GHOST HOST, CURATOR, WPIX SHOCK THEATER
I rose out of my crypt in the twilight yesterday just at dusk to go back in time to the “gory days” of 1930s movies to see Warner Brothers The Bride.
My bride the spectral Vampiress Janeta whose beauty never fades you know (she is a vampiress and is eternal) had shown me the reviews of the movie, selected by the curators of The Jacob Burns Staff to be shown this past week.
The way the reviewers saw this movie convinced me that this was a movie badly made. LIke most critics who do not make movies let alone understand them or acknowledge the movies standing, meaning in life, suggested to me it was confusing, silly and condemned it to a horrible opening weekend at the box office. ($17 Million)
Countess Janeta said “John darling, you have to go and see it before you decide not to see it.”
So in my eternal rest I decided to see The Bride at the Burns
The critics consider superhero and heroine “franchises” great because they are profitable dismissed this movie, not recognizing The Bride is an insightful homage to horror, and they havecreated an expensive $93 Million bomb, a nail in the Warner Brothers coffin and sealed in a mausoleum in Forest Lawn with so many Warner Brothers stars created in the past.
Having been a curator of horror classics since my days choosing the horror classics on Shock Theater on WPIX TV, with my assistant, Gasport. I am an expert in horror.
Horror movies, the classics, taught us about fear, evil, and human nature. As a youth I saw the original Frankenstein and saw in the townspeople’s hatred of the monster, the human nature of not liking people they did not understand. The monster’s killing of the little girl was an accident, because the monster did not understand, and Dr. Frankenstein’s rejection of the monster his lack of responsibility. This was my view of what that movie said to me about life.
Later, I saw Bride of Frankenstein which found a lonely monster asking Dr. Frankenstein to make him a companion. Unfortunately Elsa Lancaster the actress who played the first bride, rejected the Frankenstein monster.
That movie taught the lesson that strong feelings and need for another may not be returned and you as a man or a woman have to deal with it with compassion. Not rejection.
(It was not until I found a vampiress, (the eternal Countess Janeta, who liked my blood type and that took centuries), that I resolved this situation for myself.
The original Bride of Frankenstein ran 1 hour 15 minutes and took 36 days to shoot.
The Bride runs 2 hours and 6 minutes and sweeps the story of the Bride of Frankenstein into modern times the 1930s and creates a horror classic:
Director Maggie Gyllenhaal’s over-the-top overwhelming, melodramatic, horror romance that cannot die.
She has created in fantastic color, sound, action ,spectacle. It is the ultimate embellishment of horror’s appeal for those of us who appreciate the horror genre power to suspend disbelief and create buy-in acceptance of the impossible.
This movie is horror as inspiration, hope, happiness that all those who have fallen short crave. The Gyllenhaaling of James Whale’s(the director the original “Bride”) amps up the impact of the original, and brings out all horror’s powers to inspire
Right away it grabs us with Ms. Gyllenhaal far better looking than Alfred Hitchock in her own film, playing the spirit of Mary Shelley from one step beyond, saying she did not have time to write the sequel to Frankenstein because she died, but now she is back to say the things she,Shelley, wanted to say. I, horror aficionado, appreciates this. (We all leave undone things we wanted to do at the time we depart unless, unless you can come back, become a vampire or a monster that is invulnerable except for one thing: he is lonely.
Like the Frankenstein monster.
Gyllenhaal loops you in like a deranged talk show ghost host eerily discussing her new sequel she never got to write.
It begins with her monster viewing a 1930s song dance movie in a theater, tearing up watching Gyllenhaal’s brother Jack do a song and dance romantic fairwell to one of the many stars appearing in this horror epic. Seeing this movie if not a horror fan, you will see portrayed through the monster’s tears and joy at the film within the film. He has a broken heart. He is lonely.
A creature of the street– in a reach you can consider him a homeless person.

No other actor playing the monster—even the master, Boris Karloff—is as hunkie or as handsome and sensitive as Christian Bale’s “Frankie” who is self-educated, he reads, exactly the kind of man of interest a woman falls for. He needs love.
Man does this hit home.
This is why people go to movies. It seems to me critics have forgotten that. The movie fans seek ways to fill the loneliness and regrets of life and emotions they have never had. Horror movies make you feel more emotion than any genre, (except Shakespeare), (even those who empathize with the monster or two monsters as The Bride creates). The Mary Shelley ghost’s introduction is the framework of the movie lets you consider the impossible “what if” – the “hook” in horror that “hooks” you, dear movie goer.

Frank taking Ida to a Ronnie Read movie featuring his idol Read, whose movies he watches to experience feels of love.
The monster who has been roaming for years has now found love in watching Gyllenhall’s brother Jack playing a Fred Astaire type as he dances in 30s music style in a glitzy jazz age Chicago of the gangster age. Gyllenhall’s brother Jack plays Ronnie Reed with various stars you know as Reed’s partner.

Frank (Bail) encountering Jack Gyllenhaal playing Reed as he professes how much Reed’s movies mean to him. It will bring tears to your eyes.

Jesse Buckley acting out at the nightclub resulting in her untimely death. And she really acts showing her range of insanity and athleticism.
After the monster departs the movie crying, we are jazz-transported into a “hotsy-totsy” club with a table full of gangster types.Here Ida, Jessie Buckley a frizzy haired moll is acting out, slightly drunk and aggravates the table which ends with the gangster boss telling his cronies to get rid of her. Down the stairs she goes.
Fade to the monster hunched into his scarf walking to a tall building. He seeks out a scientist who wrote a book on resuscitating the dead.
She is a very scientific Dr. Euphronious played with arch evil, ambition and adventure by Annette Bening. She asks why Frank is seeking her out. His answer got me laughing (and really vampires never laugh.)
Them she asks why should I help you:
Bale as “Frank,” says, “I am so lonely.”
They need a dead woman’s body, and a dead woman is dug up by Dr. Euphronious and Frank.

Ida the rubbed-out gangster moll and Frank “meet cute” as she is on the table hooked up and in her spectacular laboratory Ida is goes from “corpse to cutie”—your body hums with electricity during this scene.

FRANK EXPERIENCES LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT AS IDA COMES BACK TO LIFE. THE BALE-BUCKLEY TEAM DELIVER THE LOOKS AND TOUCHES OF THINGS LOVERS DO. THEY ARE BEYOND CUTE– GOOD AND PERFECT.
As Ida takes to the streets, rejecting Frank, he follows her but she encounters thugs who try and assault her. Frank takes care of them and the romance from there rolls like a Harlequin romance novel. He cares consoles. She says forgedaboutit. I loved this aspect. Great acting love-hate-care. Love unfolds. I love that, don’t you? You yourself watching two people humanize through love’s growth.
The movie inspires women of Chicago to revolt against male dominance, and riots erupt.
Frank continues to escort Ida.
They are pursued by a police detective and state troopers, the entire police force of Chicago and New York. The couple is finally cornered will they survive?
You have to stay to the end like any romance. Happy ending? Will there be a sequel? No way. There are always tears for the monsters.
Horror movies never have a happy ending.
Mr Bale as Frank and Jessie Buckley as Ida whom Frank names Penelope are like Superman and Lois, always at odds, or Bogey and Bacall, tentative distant CRACKLING with electricity Tracy and Hepburn. Cary Grant and Laraine Day.

They hug with intensity. NEED grows.
You like romance. You like vast huge stagings of riots, chases and two people who don’t like each other cooperate, learn to agree and care for each other desperately.
This is a Horror movie classic.
Now Countess Janeta wants to see it.
The audience in the Burns Theater 5 which I playfully have nicknamed “The Crypt,” stayed rapt through the credits. No one left. They had to hear all of “Monster Mash” in the closing credits. They were transfixed. These two are monster heat.
Horror fans purists and Gen X’s go see. Learn. Feel the horror the love the emotion Hollywood used to deliver.
Go see it in the theaters.
The Bride gives everybody a reason for living—never give up! Like the two monsters who turn into lovers they found their way.

The last time a horror movie was this good was my favorite mummy movie “The Mummy’s TOMB” (1944) when Kharis the Mummy carries his beloved Princess Annunka into a swamp as she ages.
Hollywood establishment has a new hyperbolic word:
Gayllenhaalesque!
This was a graveyard smash of a movie.
For the record from Wikkipedia:
Bride of Frankenstein premiered on April 19, 1935 at the Orpheum Theater in San Francisco,[33][a] and went into general release the next day.[34][35] The film was profitable for Universal, with a 1943 report showing that it had earned approximately $2 million, a profit of about $950,000.[36]
The film was critically praised upon its release, although some reviewers did qualify their opinions based on the film’s being in the horror genre. The New York World-Telegram called the film “good entertainment of its kind”.[37] The New York Post described it as “a grotesque, gruesome tale which, of its kind, is swell”.[37] The Hollywood Reporter similarly called the film “a joy for those who can appreciate it”.[37]
Variety did not so qualify its review: “[It is] one of those rare instances where none can review it, or talk about it, without mentioning the cameraman, art director, and score composer in the same breath as the actors and director”. Variety also praised the cast, writing that “Karloff manages to invest the character with some subtleties of emotion that are surprisingly real and touching … Thesiger as Dr. Pretorious [is] a diabolic characterization if ever there was one … Lanchester handles two assignments, being first in a preamble as author Mary Shelley and then the created woman. In latter assignment she impresses quite highly”.[38]
In another unqualified review, Time wrote that the film had “a vitality that makes their efforts fully the equal of the original picture (Frankenstein)… Screenwriters Hurlbut & Balderston and Director James Whale have given it the macabre intensity proper to all good horror pieces, but have substituted a queer kind of mechanistic pathos for the sheer evil that was Frankenstein“.[39] The Oakland Tribune concurred it was “a fantasy produced on a rather magnificent scale, with excellent stagecraft and fine photographic effects”.[40] While the Winnipeg Free Press thought that the electrical equipment might have been better suited to Buck Rogers, nonetheless the reviewer praised the film as “exciting and sometimes morbidly gruesome”, declaring that “all who enjoyed Frankenstein will welcome his Bride as a worthy successor”.[41] The New York Times called Karloff “so splendid in the role that all one can say is ‘he is the Monster'”.[42] The Times praised the entire principal cast and Whale’s direction in concluding that Bride is “a first-rate horror film”,[42] and presciently suggested that “the Monster should become an institution, like Charlie Chan“.[42]