THE WORLD READS WHITE PLAINS CITIZENETREPORTER — 8,324,077 VISITS IN ONE YEAR

WPCNR’S THE FEINER REPORT. By Greenburgh Town Supervisor Paul Feiner. December 10, 2006:

The NY State Assembly Health Committee will be holding public hearings on the Berger Commission report on hospital and nursing home closings this coming Monday at 11 AM at White Plains Library, 100 Martine Ave, White Plains. The committee is providing people with an opportunity to testify in person or via e mail. If you cannot testify in person you should e mail the Assembly at the following address: [email protected].  This is the first time that the State Assembly is providing people with the opportunity to testify electronically. The ‘e hearing’ will enable the committee to hear from many more people than will be able to testify in person.

Oral testimony is limited to ten minutes in length. (Mr. Feiner will be delivering the following remarks:)

WPCNR NEWS COMMENT. By The WPCNR Editorial Advisory Committee. December 10, 2006: The White Plains Parking Department is seeking proposals from qualified vendors to sell advertising space on receipts dispensed by multispace parking meters. The city would benefit two ways. First, the vendor would have to supply the paper on which the receipts are printed, thus saving the city the cost of buying the paper. Second, the vendor would share with the city the money generated from selling the advertising. Proposals have to be submitted to the Parking Department no later than the close of business on Tuesday, Dec. 12. This is  a serious request by the city and the WPCNR Editorial Advisory Committee has some suggestions of who should apply:

1. Sell ads on the back of actual parking tickets. This would be an ideal advertising medium for lawyers.
   
2. Sell ads on parking meters. This would be ideal for, say, a fast-food restaurant which could advertise, “We’ll have you fed before the time on this meter runs out.”
   
3. Place a fleet of toy sailboats in the downtown fountain and sell ads on the sails. This would be perfect for the downtown bars which could advertise, “Don’t drink the fountain water…drink what we serve at our bar.”
   
4. Sell ads on the back of real estate tax bills. This might appeal to manufacturers of aspirin and other headache remedies.
   
5. Sell commercials during recesses in the televised Common Council meetings. We haven’t yet figured out which categories of advertisers might be interested.
   
6. Bottle White Plains tap water under the brand name: “Quarropas Springs Water — The Water of the Smokey ,Marshes the Weckquaeskecks, White Plains First Settlers” or “White Plains Water — New York’s Best Water from the Renaissance City — from the Pristine Taps of the White Plains Department of Public Works” — sell it for $3.99 a bottle.
   
7. Sell ads on the  sides of Police Cars for Bail Bondsmen, Gun License Application Specialists, Handsfree Cellphone Devices, Radar Detectors.
   
8. Sell advertising on city public reports  — (“Creative Accountant Swat Team — Everything’s an Asset — You too can show a surplus”)
   
9. Sell display advertising on the Common Council, Planning Board and Zoning Board Agendas ( “It’s 11 P.M. Next time Let Deltoid, Lightly, Shifty and Smooth handle your proposal — We’re In Touch.” “Resolution Obfuscations While U Wait — Comfortably Seamless), you could even “billboard’ portions of the televised Common Council meeting (“Tonight’s Employee of the Month is brought to you by–“, “The Consent Agenda is Brought to You by –“) — or sell sponsorships of councilperson’s statements. (“The Councilperons’ statements on the MOU are made possible by…”)
   
10. Sell bicycle shop ads on the White Plains Police Bike Patrol Bikes. “Bicycles Park Free in White Plains–Check Out the WPPD Pursuit Model this officer is riding at “2 Wheels Around the World.”
    
11. Sell advertisements for smoke detectors, fire extinguishers on Fire Department trucks.
    
12. Sell billboards for leaf mulchers, garbage disposals, shredding machines on DPW Trucks.
    
13. Sell Landmark City Documents : “The Collected Legal Opinions of the White Plains Corporation Counsel,” “The Environmental Impact Statements of Our Time,” “The Common Council’s 25 Best and Worst Decisions — A Retrospective”